


Box of Cats, What a Day

by BlueBunny75



Category: Team Fortress 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-25 20:41:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21362389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueBunny75/pseuds/BlueBunny75
Summary: In an attempt to rid himself from ever running into Soldier again, Merasmus put's a spell on Soldier in his sleep. Of course, His spell misfires and effects the rest of the team in the process. Not wanting to deal with them all himself, he decided to send the team with Soldier to another dimension with a spell and a note.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Box of Cats, What a Day

The battle fought on with almost a boring hint in the air.

Yes, obviously not every battle is boring, almost impossible for it to be for certain classes. They must be on constant high alert, like the Engineer or Soldier, but there are the days where battle is slow.

Today is one of those days. The REDs aren’t living up to their standards and the BLUs backlines have more time to relax, posing for a nap on the engineers case. 

Rarely has a Scout or a Spy slipped back into the Intel room, where the Texan took nesting, and quickly have they been dropped by his sentry. No need for him to sit up from his hand-man seat with a layout like that. As the Engineer reached over for a sip of beer besides him, footsteps approached down the hall.

With a swig, the man looked at the clock at the far wall.

“Only a few more minutes.” he chuckled, setting the drink back down. “Guess them REDs will really be testin’ us now.” With a glance up, his sentry beeped quickly, signalling that it has spotted a target, and opened fire. The scream of a soldier echoed down the hallway as Engie chuckled once more.

“Not that it’ll work, not today at least.”

She fought on the day with a boring hint in the air.

Yes, obviously working a nine to five through the week in an office job can be boring, but it was Friday, and it was almost time for most of them to leave. Heidi sent in one last email before she began to log out of the system.

Turning off the computer, she pushed in her chair and turned around, silently exiting the building. Once out, she let out a relieved sigh. She began to mutter to herself as she walked home.

“Finally,” she whispered, “It's Friday. I can go home an’ sleep.”

A crossing of the road later, Heidi approached her own house door. A quick glance down proved fruitless and she opened the door. Shutting it behind her and taking off her shoes, the peach skinned lady took a deep breath, smelling the air.

It smelt of lavenders and coffee, mostly coffee.

She smiled and took a seat in her living room, sighing happily and grabbing her phone. She began to read a story and enjoy her time alone. With a quick glance around the room, her sea green eyes caught a picture on a distant table, barely able to pick it out.

She recognized it immediately, even if it was blurry. It was Heidi’s cat, Missy. Missy was short for Miss Smokey Blue, and she was a smokey gray cat with bright blue eyes. She had just recently died, and Heidi was still silently grieving over her.

Missy was a small and cuddly cat, and Heidi loved her unconditionally. Now she was waiting till she could handle having a new cat to get one. Looking back down to her digital book, she figured she could wait one more week.

The BLU team won, just as a few of them had predicted. It was an easy win, and a few of them suspect it won’t be as easy next battle. But right now, everyone was sweaty and hungry.

After Engineer finished his shower, he quickly got ready to head to the kitchen. It was his turn to cook and figured he shall make a small, nice feast. The food he wanted to make thankfully wouldn’t take long to cook. He went straight to work once he entered the kitchen. 

Everyone else were either in the showers, the living room, or off somewhere else. Soldier was happily, and loudly, chattering with anyone who will talk back about his kill streaks and anything else he deemed interesting. Demoman walked in at one point, followed by their Heavy Weapons Guy, and managed to get Soldier to go off talking his most recent ridiculous kill.

Scout stepped out soon after Demo and Heavy sat down. Soon enough, everyone was washed off and waiting for dinner in the living room. Some moved to chat in the dining room, like Scout and Pyro.

Engie stepped into the dinning room holding a pot and heat pads. Scout and Pyro, the only two still in the room, glanced up. Scout actually began to bounce in his chosen seat.

With a soft chuckle, Engineer set the pot down and told Scout that dinner was ready, and to call the others in. With that, he stepped back into the kitchen to grab another pot.

Scout stood up and ran across the hallway, stopping in the doorway, and quickly telling the rest of the team dinner was ready. 

Heidi was in her kitchen when she heard something. It sounded like ringing… her phone! Quickly putting down the cup she was holding, she ran back to the living room, picking up her phone and answering.

“Hype Wizard!” It was her cousin, Jordynn. Every now and then when she called, Jordynn would great her with a ‘hype wizard,’ Jordynn’s nickname for her. Heidi smiled as she put the phone on speaker. She cheered out a ‘Huzzah!’ and chuckled, greeting her back.

“I just recently watched End of the Line,” her cousin exclaimed, “it was so cool! I feel bad for Scout though, with all of those bombs.” 

Heidi chuckled and spoke, setting her phone down to add honey into her cup. “And Sniper, don’t forget Sniper. He was stuck hanging over a cliff.” I’m sure you guys know the video I’m talking about, do I really need to explain it?

With an ‘oh yeah’, Jordynn chatted with her cousin and Heidi made her tea, chatting back. The water was taking it’s time to boil, so Heidi turned to her phone and saw Missy’s picture. A thought came to her head.

“Hey Jordynn, how weird would it be if the mercenaries from Team Fortress 2 became cats and were sent to my house?”

Her cousin chuckled. “Well, it’d be pretty cool to be honest with ya. What brings that up? Planning on getting a new cat?”

Heidi nodded her head, then remembered that this was a call. Quickly, and almost loudly, she confirmed it. Jordynn laughed then started a talk about an animation she was making.

The call ended with the two back on the topic of Team Fortress 2 and how the mercenaries would even turn into cats and get sent over. They settled with Merasmus planning on getting rid of Soldier and the rest got roped in somehow. With a goodbye, Jordynn ended the call and Heidi plugged her phone in, planning on just watching. documentaries on Netflix till she deemed herself tired enough. 

10:46 at night. Shouldn’t take too long.

10:46 at night. Everyone was in the living room, chatting and playing card games to the side. Pyro is asleep on the floor, and Engineer just returned from a closet to give them a blanket and a pillow.

Soldier and Scout were chatting about something, no one really knows either. All anyone can catch is speed and distance stuff. Engineer sat down beside Scout and began a conversation with Medic with a thanks. 

To sum it up quickly, it was peaceful, and Demo was the second out, passed out from his favorite alcohol. Soldier dragged him, head on the floor, to Demo’s room, whilst Engie woke Pyro to guide them to their room, then went to his own.

11: 12 at night. Spy has vanished and Sniper heads out to his camper. Heavy goes to bed shortly after.

11:34 at night. Medic says he’s heading to bed and if there’s a mess in the morning, Soldier and Scout are cleaning it.

12:43 in the morning. Scout passes out from a sugar crash. Soldier is the last man standing. So he grabs the youngest like a sack of potatoes, and hauls him to his room. Standing back in the living room, his posture dropped to a calmer one and he began to pick up the cans he and Scout left about.

After disposing of them quietly, he stretched out with a yawn, going to his own room at 1:02 am.

1:02 am. Heidi is still awake. She’s watching a documentary about solved cold cases and just finished an episode. The brown haired woman paused the show to stretch and yawn. Grabbing her phone and charger, she stood up and cleaned her mess, putting the now empty cup into the sink.

“I’ll wash it in the morning,” She muttered to herself. 

After dragging herself down the hallway, she made it to her bedroom, and flopped onto the bed. After a few moments she groaned, realizing she needed to plug her phone in, and the charger is still in her hand.

The ordeal was finally over and she dropped onto her bed, curling up under the sheets and went to Youtube on her phone. Once there, she put on some calming music, lowered her volume, and went to sleep.

The morning was cramped. Why was it so cramped? Well, at least it was comfortable…

Heidi awoke that morning tired than ever, then rolled over to see the time. Lime neon numbers appeared in her view. After a minute of staring at it, she remembered how to read digital clocks.

“10:48? Really?” She groaned out, “nooo,” She rolled back over, ready to fall back asleep when there was a  _ very _ loud knock at the door. Another groan and a tired trudge later, Heidi was standing at her door, opening it without a second thought beside the ‘who is it?’.

No one was there.

She stepped out and glanced around, tugging her eyebrows together. No one was on her porch. Glancing down in case there was a box, she found one. A fairly sized box was on her porch with a letter attop it.

Picking up the letter, she searched to see who it was addressed to.

_ To whoever lives in this house _

“To whoever lives in this house?” Heidi repeated aloud. Looking down to the box, she shrugged and picked it up, bringing it inside. She set it on the counter with the letter and stepped away to complete her morning routine.

Brush hair, bathroom, brush teeth. It was a quick routine.

Stepping back up to the box, she picked up the letter and opened it, reading it aloud to herself.

“ _ Greetings to whoever receives this letter. If you are reading this, then my new spell worked, and you should have received a box with this letter.”  _ Heidi took a moment to glance up to the box beside her and pat it.

” _ I am the Great Mer- _ Merasmus? Like, the wizard from TF2?” She glanced over the box and found a very faint green glow fading away. Raising and eyebrow, she continued. “ _ Great Merasmus, and I had an assistant I wanted to get rid of. Forever. Unfortunately, as I set my plan into motion, I affected the rest of his coworkers, and had no place for them. So I decided to kill two stone with one birds -  _ wait -  _ two birds with one stone and send them to you. _ Wait, what does he mean by that?” She looked up at the box for a few seconds before leaning in and sniffing it.

Cardboard. Nothing unusual. No unneededly sweet smell. She continued.

“ _ Inside the box are -  _ KITTENS?!” Snapping her head to the box, she realized the cats won't be able to breathe properly with how it’s sealed. Quicky, she stood up and ran to the kitchen, grabbing a short knife. She returned as quickly as she left and cut open the lid of the box. Inside indeed were kittens.

“Oh my god.” she set that on repeat as she set the box on the ground. They all were asleep, and all appeared healthy to her knowledge, so she turned to the letter and continued.

“ _ Inside the box are kittens. 9 in total. Each have little collars on them with a symbol and a class name. They only respond to the class name. Take care of them for me, as I already have so much, and I fear they will attack me on sight.  _

_ “Good luck, - Merasmus the Magician. _ Holy shot. 9 cats, oh my god.” Heidi looked down at the kittens and decided to pull Miss Smokey Blue’s bed out from the closest she put it in.

Setting it down on the ground beside the box, she sat beside it. Reaching in, Heidi gently picked up a lean spotted cat, and set it down on the bed. It mewed in adjusted, but stayed asleep. She grabbed the bright blue collar and checked the tag. It was a crosshair, and on the back it said ‘Sniper’.

She then pulled out a black cat, a leanner one after. She set them down on the bed checking their blue collars as well. The first tag had a flame and the word Pyro, the second tag had the word Spy and a butterfly knife on the back.

Pulling out a large greyish blue kitten with a fist for a symbol and ‘Heavy’ on the tag was set in the growing pile of kitties. A light grey cat was pulled out next. ‘Medic’, a plus sign. 

“Or a medical sign, as his name is Medic.” Heidi whispered, setting ‘Medic’ beside ‘Heavy’ and ‘Sniper’ Reaching back into the back into the box, she pulled out a dark grey cat. The tag has a shoe with a wing and the word Scout. 

“These sound awfully familiar…” She trailed off.

Next out of the box was a tabby with a tag of ‘Soldier’ and a rocket. The last two tiny cats were a light grey kitten with flat ears and a white, brown, and black kitten with little short legs. The light grey one had a tag that said Demoman and a picture of a form of bomb. All were wearing blue collars of the same shade.

The last kitten, as Heidi flipped the tag to read the word Engineer after looking at a picture of a wrench on the tiny blue collar, woke up. It opened its eyes slowly and made a low meow. Setting him down onto the bed with the others, the lady stood up and received her phone from her room. She knows her cousin is up at this time, Heidi will call Jordynn about this.

The morning was less cramped, still comfortable. He was wrapped in something warm, and slightly rough. Shifting slightly, Engineer let out a soft groan. He began to open his eyes when he felt himself be set down onto something soft and slightly less warm. He fully opened his eyes to see light and dark grey fur.

With a hum, he lifted his head and found himself resting on small white paws. He glanced down and shifted away, only for the paws to follow. Something moved away behind him but he was too focused on the paws before him, following his movement.

Engie raised his hand, and the paw followed suite. setting the paws back onto the ground, he pushed up and heard a jingle. Before him, the fur shifted and a head turned to him. The head was one of a black cat, leaner than the other black cat. Faded blue eyes locked with Engineers. Their ear flicked as the leaned up further and a tag became visible.

‘Spy’.

“Spy?” Engine voiced. The other small cat blinked and glanced down, looking at something on his neck. 

“Yes, it’s me, Spy. Engie, are you not?” The lean kitten, or Spy really, responded. He glanced around and saw the other kittens sleeping around. He reached out and patted the kittens, checking their necks.

“Hey, Jordynn! Turns out I don’t really need to leave my house to get more cats.” An unfamiliar voice called out from behind them. Turning back, they saw a lady, kneeling down to sit beside them as they put some strange device on the ground. “Looks like they’re waking up, too.”

With difficulty, Engineer managed to turn around and look up at the lady fully. She was rather tall, and that’s with the fact he seems to be a kitten, as the lady claimed. She was looking over all of his sleeping teammates before she focused on Engie. She smiled down at him and reached out slowly as a voice sounded from nowhere.

“Really now? How many do ya have?” It was feminine as well. Engie was being gently pet on the back as the lady answered. It felt nice…

“9. I have 9 kittens here. Funnily enough, this guy named ‘Merasmus’ sent them to me. I thinks someone’s messing with me.” She moved her hand away from him and reached up to the nearby table he now noticed. Hold on, Merasmus? Engie followed her hand with his eyes. “Yeah, see?  _ Good luck, -Merasmus the Magician. _ Who names their kid Merasmus in this word, or even names themselves after a disease?”

“Maybe it really was Merasmus, you know, from the game?” The other voice suggested, “the actual Merasmus sent you a bunch of cats. Wait! What are the cats names?” The other lady now sounded intrigued, an idea practically audible.

The lady before them hummed for a second, then began to count off on her fingers as she listed their names. “Soldier, Spy, Scout, Sniper, Demoman, Engineer, Heavy, Medic, and Pyro. Wait,” She then repeated the same process, albeit quieter, while pointing at certain kittens. Engineer held his head up a little more when his name was called, and Spy shifted his way onto a spotted cat to check their collar as his name was called.

“Yeah, they’re all named after the mercs.” She concluded, confusion submerging her face.

“What if it is the mercs?” The other voice suggested again.

“It’s possible, the Merasmus guy did say he was trying to get rid of his ‘assistant’ forever, but affected his coworkers in the process.” She locked eyes with the even smaller engineer, and picked him up. Her pointer was resting under his chin and his feet, or paws, were held up by the other fingers, the thumb holding him in place. 

He only softly yelped in surprise when he was picked up. He knew she means no harm, as far as he can tell, she just found them. He looked her in her blue eyes and held it, slowly blinking.

“Poor boys. If you guys even are the mercenaries, how would you guys get back home?” She said, gently moving her index finger against his chin.

“You okay up zhere?” His coworker Spy called up to him, managing to rouse the largest kitten awake, and working on the spotted once again.

“’m fine, she’s not hurtin’ me.” He responded, looking back down to him briefly. He looked back up and began to shift, showing that he wanted down. With slight hesitation, the tan lady set them down, and continued conversation with the mysterious voice. Engie turned with difficulty again and managed to face the grey cat.

The blue collar tag had a familiar symbol of a fist on it.

“Looks like Engie, Heavy, and Spy are awake, and Spy’s trying to wake up who I believe is Sniper.” The lady said unknowingly helpfully. The largest kitten looked to Spy and saw him kneading another kittens face. Said kitten finally batted him away and fully woke up, groaning about waking up early. Turning faded blue to Engie, Heavy spoke.

“You must be Engineer. The black one Spy and spotted on Sniper.” It was almost strange hearing a strong, rough Russian accent come out of a kitten a bit bigger than himself. He nodded his head and turned to the light grey cat beside him. 

“We should probably wake everyone up now, huh?”

Heavy nodded as Sniper sat up, looking at the others in confusion as well.

“Seems like they’re gonna wake everyone up now.” The brown haired lady said, watching them from a comfortable distance. Sniper glanced yellow eyes up to her and ‘tch’ed. Muttering something about not liking this situation.

Engineer woke up the grey cat easily, deducing him as Medic. Heavy woke up Soldier and Scout woke up on his own. Spy woke up Pyro and Sniper attempted to wake up Demo. Out like a light. Ain’t waking up too soon. Everyone figured out who’s who. Heidi stood up and walked away with the strange device during this.

Engie is a white, brown and black kitten with short stocky legs and his teammates claimed. Heavy is a large bluish grey kitten, larger than them all, even at this stage. Medic is light grey, and sharply featured, even his eyes were sharp. Sniper is a jaguar patterned kitten, and Scout is a dark, almost black, grey kitten. Spy and Pyro were both black, Spy was leaner, Soldier is orange with stripes and Demo is light grey with folded ears. 

They made sure that they knew who was who one last time and stayed on the bed. It was comfortable, and it was the only place they deemed safe, as the world is now very large compared to them all. Now, all they can do is think of a way to get back to their normal bodies, and think of a way home.

**Author's Note:**

> Whelp, this chapter is longer than expected. Enjoy none the less.


End file.
